Nightmare is Made of Win
by Magic of WakaLaka
Summary: Language and Craziness. Nightmare is the selfproclaimed ruler of the Soul Edge. But the other Soul Calibur characters want it! Nightmare decides to show the world that he's made of win! Join Nightmare, Raphael, and Lizardman and they try and prove this.
1. It's Britney

Magic of WakaLaka: HI! This is my first Soul Calibur fanfic so you know that it is going to be bad. This is comedy so a lot of characters are going to be OOC. It will be random.

None of these characters belong to me (unfortunately) so I hope you enjoy my fanfic!

They will also look like how they look like in Soul Calibur 3 because in Soul Calibur 4… they look ugly.

Raphael: UGLY? I LOOK HORRENDOUS. I LOOK LIKE JOHN CENA! –sobs-

Nightmare: I look like a big… purple… fireball… of LAMENESS. –sobs along with Raphael-

Lizardman: WHAT ABOUT ME? I'M PROBABLY NOT EVEN IN THE FOURTH ONE. THAT'S NOT BALLING. –sobs-

Voldo: I look like I should be in Star Trek. –eyebrow raised-

Astaroth: I look like a Koopa.

Nightmare: Who cares about you?

Raphael: Seriously.

Astaroth: … -unloved-

* * *

A small child, dirty and smudged from being choked in the grip of poverty, ran down the deserted street, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"HE'S HERE! THE MONSTER IS HE-!" the child's cry was cut short and was followed by a sickening silence. The other townsfolk, who was carefully hidden in there houses, didn't dare make a sound. They know that right out their window is…

"BOOM BABY!" Nightmare yelled, jumping through a window of a random house. Nightmare landed expertly and by expertly I mean landing flat on his face.

The family that was hiding stared at him with their eyes wide and mouths gaping in fear. Nightmare slowly got up and stared at them, his fiery eyes blazing.

"LOL, HEY GUYS. DO YOU MIND IF I TAKE YOUR SOULS? LOL." Nightmare yelled. The family was too stunned to stay anything but just stared. Nightmare stared at them back and for a few moments time stood still.

"OKAY, THEN!" Nightmare yelled and swung his huge sword over his head, aiming to chop the poor people in little itty bitty bits.

"WAIT, PLEASE!" the youngest cried. "YOU CAN'T KILL ME, I'M HARRY POTTER!"

Nightmare stopped in mid-motion of slicing their heads off when he stopped and stared at the little kid.

He had green eyes, black hair, and a lightening bolt shaped scar on the middle of his forehead. Nightmare pondered this for a moment, killing Harry Potter would destroy a whole story line, mean the end of the wizard world, and leaving a certain British author dirt poor.

"OH WELL, YOU WILL LIVE ON IN FANFICTION!" Nightmare screamed and sliced all their heads off. Nightmare proceeded to run around the house, waving his sword above his head and slicing everything in his path. In a few moments the village was in ruins and Nightmare was tired. "OH, WOW. THAT WAS TIRING." Nightmare screamed as he took a long sip from a can of Orange Soda that appeared out of nowhere. Standing next to a tree, a few meters away was Tira. She gazed angrily at Nightmare while he sat down on the ground to paint his claw nails. "How come he is so powerful and he acts so stupid." She muttered under breathe as Nightmare continued to paint his nails and gaze at a TV that was suddenly there playing Desperate Housewives. "TIRA, TIRA, COME HERE QUICK! LOOK AT THAT CHEATING WHORE. ADL-UT-ERY!" Nightmare yelled motioning frantically to the television screen. Tira rolled her eyes. "Master, we should get moving. Who knows how many people are after the Soul Edge." Tira turned around to go. Nightmare stared at Tira for a moment and then started to whimper. Tira whipped around quickly, afraid that she hurt Nightmare's feelings.

Which she did.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaah, I –sniff- I'm SWORRY. –sniff- I just want to have FUN." Nightmare eyes got big and watery and he sat down on the ground and started to sob. "Aww, I'm sorry Nightmare… I didn't really mean it, Master." Tira bend down to hug Nightmare. Nightmare grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her up into the night sky. "MEAN BITCH, GET AWAY FROM ME!!" He yelled. Nightmare stood for a second before sitting down back on the ground and starting to cry again. "I'M ALL ALONE." He cried.

Nightmare turned around slowly when he felt the auras of two other beings…

"YOU'RE NOT ALONE!" Lizardman cried happily and jumped on top of Nightmare. "OWIE! OW! OW! OW!" Nightmare cried out, Lizardman really did have sharp feet. "LIZARDMAN!" Nightmare sobbed happily hugged Lizardman. "DO YOU REMEMBER ME NIGHTMARE?" a voice said as Nightmare looked up and gasped happily. Raphael Sorel came running from behind a tree, with a big grin on his face. "NNIIIGGHHTTTMARE! I'VE MISSED YOU!"

"RAAPPHAAEEEL!" I'VE MISSED YOU, TOO!" Nightmare pushed Lizardman off him and ran towards Raphael in a field of daisies and butterflies. They ran to each other in slow motion, arms outstretch, to reunited a friendship that had been apart for too long…

"YOU STUPID BASTARD!" Raphael yelled as he punched Nightmare in his stomach. Nightmare recoiled and fell flat on his back. Nightmare got up quickly and glared at Raphael.

"YA! TAKE THIS!" Nightmare screamed and stomped his foot on Raphael's.

"OUUUCCCH! HIII-YA!" Raphael did a turn-around kick at Nightmare which send him back on his back.

"YAAAAH!" Nightmare yelled, taking out his huge sword as Raphael took out his sword.

"RRRARRH!"

"YAAAAH!"

"RRRAARRH!" The camera zooms up on Raphael's face.

"YAAAAH!" The camera zooms up on Nightmare's face.

Lizardman closes his eyes and opens them again to see Raphael and Nightmare playing the Nintendo Wii that appeared out of nowhere.

"What the…?" Lizardman asked.

**…………………**

Kilik was alive.

For the time being.

Xianghua found Kilik's secret "treasure chest". "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO STOP SNOOPING THROUGH MY STUFF!" Kilik screamed, trying to keep hold of the few shreds of dignity that he had. Xianghua stared at Kilik with no expression on her face, she opened a magazine and read aloud: "Ms. Buxom Betsy tells us how she expertly massages every inch of her body, with full-color pictures."

Maxi, who was watching from a distance, was giggling insanely, while Kilik's face drained of all its color. Xianghua finished reading and glared at Kilik. "WELL? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?" she screamed. Kilik cowered and started to mumble something unintelligible. Xianghua took out her weapon and started to pat it against her hand, glaring at Kilik while her battle aura surrounded her.

"WELL?"

"I'm sorry, Xianghua." Kilik bowed repeatly. Xianghua seemed satisfied and returned the weapon to its hiding place and who knows where that is. Maxi sneaked over and was about to grab the magazine when a painful caw filled the forest area they were in. "What? What was that?" Xianghua cried, looking around her, while Maxi opened the magazine and started to flick threw it. Kilik's holy stone started to glow and he grabbed it. "It must be… the soul edge!" Xianghua gasped loudly while Maxi barely lifted his gaze from the magazine. "You surely can't be serious!" Xianghua exclaimed and grabbed her weapon… again. "Of course I'm serious… and don't call me SHIRLEY!" Kilik yelled at her. The sky turned an ominous color and the beating of the wings of birds was getting louder and louder! "This reminds of that movie 'The Birds' by Alfred Hitchcock." Xianghua murmured as she saw in the distant a large moving mass of black. "Imagine the bird poop," Maxi commented. Xianghua turned back and rolled her eyes when the mass appeared right above them. Xianghua and Kilik was in their battle positions and Maxi yawned and turned a page in the magazine. Three figures, shrouded by the birds and the dark sky, landed in front of them. Kilik readied his weapon and then gasped at what he saw.

It was Nightmare alright, dressed like a girl, with a blonde wig and everything. Lizardman was dressed like a DJ and was scratching the vinyl records on a stand with headphones around his neck. Raphael Sorel was dressed like a rapper, with a gold chain and a spinning 'R'. Xianghua and Kilik stared at the scene in front of them with their eyes wide and mouths gaping open. "YEEAAAH!" Maxi jumped in front of the two and threw a microphone at Nightmare. Nightmare caught it and a beat started playing.

"IT'S BRRRIIITNEY! BITCH!" Nightmare sang into the microphone while Raphael grabbed it from him and started to rap:

"RS3 comin live from the PS3, heard the video game lost life when I gotta leave

Both the Feds and State want to eat with me

The whole city got berserk he got 3

Another noble got a hit but shawty he not me

Who set the city on fire as soon as he got freed, which was me

The king is back now ya'll d on't know how to act

Hit the club stippers give nekkid before I sit down."

Nightmare punched Raphael in his face and grabbed the microphone and started to sing:

"We can get down like there's no one around

We'll keep on rockin' (Lizardman: Keep on rockin')

We'll keep on rockin', rockin' (Lizardman: Uh-uh)

Cameras are flashing while we're DIIEEERTY dancing

They keep watchin' (Lizardman: They keep watchin')

Keep watchin and is sure feels like the crowd were like saying…"

"ENOUGH!" Kilik screamed and smacked Nightmare in his face with his giant pole. "NOT THAT HORRIBLE SONG!"

Nightmare reacted by taking off his wig and putting it on Kilik's head. Kilik's face went blank as thick silence flooded the area. "GIMME MORE, GIMME MORE!" Kilik started to sing and dance while Nightmare grooved to the beat with him.

Xianghua screamed as she saw Maxi and Raphael dancing to the music as Lizardman had his headphones to his nonexistent ears and nodding his head to the music. "MAXI! KILIK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? THEY ARE THE BAD GUYS!" But that truth fell on deaf ears as Maxi started to break-dance with Raphael.

"This is useless," Xianghua said as she quietly slipped into the forest by herself.


	2. So I herd u like Mudkipz

Magic of WakaLaka: Hey guys! Time for this second chapter! Sorry it took so lon-

Nightmare: IT TOOK TOO LONG; YOU COULDN'T LEAVE THE FANS HANGING ON MY SINGING?

Raphael: Was it that bad?

Nightmare: Your dancing was.

Raphael: What is that supposed to mean?

Lizardman: I was the DJ. Can I be a DJ again, narrator?

Magic of Wakalaka: No, Lizardman. That was the last chapter.

Lizardman: I WANT TO BE A DJ. I WANT TO BE A DJ! DJ! DJ! DJ!

Raphael and Nightmare: -chants along with Lizardman- DJ! DJ! DH!

Lizardman: DH? Where did that come from?

Raphael and Nightmare: TYPO!

* * *

Xianghua walked through the forest; the calm and tranquil feelings washed over her… which was immediately interrupted by Nightmare's voice. "XIANGHUA. GUESS WHAT I GOT?" Without waiting for a respond, Nightmare pulled out a Nintendo Wii. "Wasn't that in the last chapter?" Xianghua asked and Nightmare nodded. "This is key for World Peace," he explained and without further ado, threw it at Xianghua's head. "OW! OW! OWIE! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Xianghua screamed at Nightmare, who blinked innocently. "Did what?"

"THREW THE NINTENDO WII AT ME!"

"I didn't throw anything."

"YES, YES YOU DO."

"No, I didn't," Nightmare turned away from and started to walk away. "I think you need your head examine if you are saying that Nintendo Wiis randomly appear and hit you on the head." Xianghua grumbled something and bent down to pick up the gaming console. When she picked it up, she screamed in fright.

It wasn't a Nintendo Wii, it was a Playstation 3.

"CURSE YOU NIGHTMARE!" Xianghua yelled into the sky.

**…………………**

"Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of rum," Cervantes cried happily as he drank bottle after bottle in his ship's cabin.

**…………………**

"Omg! A nickel," Raphael cried and bent down to pick it up. With Raphael's bum in the air, Lizardman took this as an opportunity to practicing his rear-kicking moves. "HIIII-YAAA!" Lizardman cried and kicked Raphael. "WHAAAAAAAAA," Raphael cried as he fell face first to the ground. "LI. ZARD. MAN," Raphael growled, his face covered with dirt and other dirty things. Lizardman smiled and motioned for him to come over. "BRING IT ON, PRETTY BOY!" Raphael ran to Lizardman and whipped out his rapier while Lizardman stood his ground, battle axe in hand. Raphael swung his sword low, aiming for the knees, but Lizardman predicted this. He jumped back at the second Raphael sword would make contact with his flesh. Lizardman did a back-flip and landed on his hands and slapped Raphael with his tail. Raphael stepped back, wiping the blood from his mouth and grinned at Lizardman evilly. Lizardman grinned back cutely. "BOYS, BOYS, BOYS," Nightmare ran in-between the fight, arms outstretch. "THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE NO FIGHTING. EVERYONE CAN ONLY FIGHT AGAINST ME."

"WHAT?" Raphael and Lizardman yelled at the same time. Nightmare glared at both of them. "I'm practically the star of this game, lol. WHO'S AT THE LOADING SCREEN?"

"Loading screen?" Raphael asked quizzically.

"You know, with me posing and holding the sword and- NEVERMIND. YOU CANNOT FIGHT IF YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING AGAINST ME." Nightmare yelled.

"Is it written in the bible?" Lizardman asked, suddenly dressed up like the pope. Nightmare grinned, I don't know how since he doesn't have a mouth showing with his Azure Knight armor but just go with it, and pulled out a Bible. "Why, yes. It is, Matthew 5:37 says 'Those who do not listen to Nightmare will perish.' See, even GOD agrees with me."

"Really, where?" Raphael got closer to Nightmare, wanting to see if that scripture was true. Even though he doesn't look like it, Raphael was an avid Bible reader.

"RIGHT HERE!" Nightmare yelled and slammed the Bible in Raphael's face, causing the Frenchman to yell out in pain.

**…………………**

Far off in the distance there was a tree, a plain old tree, that happened to have Zasalamel behind it, playing on his Nintendo DS on WiFi. "I will get the Soul Edge," He said menacely. "Goddamnit, lost another life."

**…………………**

"You're going to pay for that Nightmare," Raphael hissed while Nightmare's eyes narrowed. "I suggest you run away now, YOU CUR!" Nightmare said happily, he loved fighting. Raphael was in his battle pose again and was about to attack when he noticed that Nightmare had something in his hand. Nightmare was holding a small ball, that was red on the top and white on the bottom. When he noticed that Raphael was staring at his hand, he smirked. "GO! MUDKIP!" Nightmare yelled and threw the pokeball into air. A bright light came from the center of the ball as it opened and hit the ground in a flashy display. When the dust cleared, Raphael gasped, it was Mudkip. "Mudkip," Mudkip …kipped? Raphael stared at the tiny blue mudfish in wonder. A few seconds went by when Nightmare yelled. "MUDKIP, HYPER BEAM!" "MUUUUUDKIP," Mudkip cried as he opened his mouth and a pure white energy ball was forming. "OH MY GOD," Raphael screamed while Lizardman scowled. "Nightmare, Mudkip can't do Hyper Beam. A powerful attack like that can only be learn by Pokemon which are level 50 and up. Also, Mudkip is a water and ground type pokemon and Hyper Beam is a normal type att-"

"SHUT UP, YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!" Nightmare yelled as he doubled kick Lizardman.

"MUUUUDDDDDKKKIIIIPPPP!" Mudkip yelled as a large beam of pure energy was heading straight for Raphael. "Oh, no!" Raphael screamed as the beam hit him.

There was a long silence in which Mudkip wandered off into the forest.

"I want to be the very best, that NO ONE EVER WAAAAASSSSS!!" Nightmare had grabbed a microphone and started to sing… again. "Isn't it: 'Like no one ever was'?" Raphael asked, his whole body charred black. Nightmare walked over and stomped his foot on Raphael's head. "STOP CORRECTING ME."

"CAN ALL OF YOU GUYS BE QUIET? I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY SHOW HERE!" Kilik yelled over the couch behind him. For some strange reason there was a wide-screen TV, popcorn, and a red sofa, which Kilik and Maxi sitting on, in the middle of the forest. "Stupid bad guys talk to loud," Kilik muttered while Maxi nodded in agreement. On the television was Kilik's and Maxi's favorite show, A Problem Aired is A Problem Shared, they watched this show like it was a religion. "Like, oh my god, I didn't know Bangoo was a pimp." Maxi said. "I didn't doubt it," Kilik responded while leaning closer to the television set.

"MUDKIP! MUDKIP! MUDKIP, WHERE ARE YOU!?" Nightmare yelled into the night, tears coming down his face.

* * *

Will Zasalamel get the Soul Edge?

Will Nightmare ever find Mudkip again?

Will Lizardman become the next Pope?

Will Raphael get any hotter?

Will Kilik and Maxi stop watching TV?

Will Cervantes die from alcohol poisoning?

Tune in next time!


	3. And all with know about the 300

Cervantes: Do I get more screentime in this chapter?

Magic of WakaLaka: Wait and see! And... um... what are you doing in my room?

Cervantes: I don't know. I was just about to ask you that same question.

Magic of WakaLaka: ... RRRAAAPPPHHAAAEEEELLL!!!

* * *

Xianghua jumped from tree to tree and at the same time enjoying and demising her alone time. "Curses, where the heck are they?" Xianghua jumped again and landed expertly on a tree branch and heard a soft moan. Looking up, she gasped as she saw Tira hanging from a tree; looking like a Christmas ornament. Tears were streaming down her face and she looked at Xianghua with puppy eyes. "Can't you help me get down?" "Errrr," Xianghua responded and the minutes past with no one moving. "WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? GET ME DOWN. NOW!!!" Tira yelled causing Xianghua to lose her balance and fall off the tree branch and onto the hard forest floor. "Oops sorry," Tira said before Xianghua blanked out.

**…………………**

Kilik, Maxi, Raphael, Lizardman, and Nightmare were walking all cool and in slow motion down a paved road. They were all wearing suits with matching sunglasses. Everyone except Nightmare, of course, he was dressed much like Neo from The Matrix. There were normal people who were walking down the street and gasped and dropped their stuff when Nightmare peered over his sunglasses and winked at them. "Hey, I just noticed something." Kilik said all of the sudden. "What?" Raphael asked. "How come Lizardman speaks normal English? I mean, he is a giant lizard. Shouldn't he speak… um… lizard language?" "Oh! I'm bilingual!" Lizardman responded earning a sideways glance from Kilik and Raphael. "What."

"Shouldn't that be in a form of a question?"

"Oops, sorry... what?"

"I'm bilingual! I speak lizard language and English!"

"Wow! Can you teach me lizard language?" Raphael asked, obviously very excited. Lizardman looked at him like he was an idiot. "You can't learn lizard language just like that. You have to be a lizard!" "WHAT?" Raphael yelled. "THEN HOW COME YOU CAN SPEAK ENGLISH AND YOU'RE NOT HUMAN?"

"Technically, I was a human before. Also, you aren't a human anymore either Raphael. So you shouldn't be speaking English either."

"That's dumb. What language _should_ I be speaking?"

"CrazyFrenchdudewhogotturnedintoademonbynightmare language."

"THAT ISN'T A LANGUAGE!"

Nightmare suddenly punched Lizardman and Raphael at the same time. "YOU GUYS HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT ME IN 5 MINUTES!"

Kilik raised his eyebrows as Raphael and Lizardman nursed their bruised faces. Nightmare leered over them before turning to look behind him. There stood, Zasalamel who was dressed like Agent Smith from The Matrix. "Well, well, well, well, well, well, WELL. It seems that you are becoming more reckless with your powerful Soul Edge, Mr. ummmm… What is your last name, Nightmare… or do you even have one?"

"I don't have one." Nightmare said and Zasalamel nodded. "Very well, Mr. Nightmare, it's time for you to hand over the Soul Edge."

"WHHAAAAATTTTT?!?! THE SOUL EDGE IS MINE! I MADE IT. I AM IT!"

"How are you a sword with a huge eyeball in the middle?" Raphael injected needlessly. Nightmare smacked Raphael before turning his full attention back to Zasalamel. "TIME FOR YOU TO DIE!!!" Nightmare grabbed his sword, the Soul Edge, and threw it to the side, hitting Raphael again as he was getting up. "Curse you Nightmare," he muttered painfully. "YAAAAAAH!" Nightmare jumped into the air and grabbed his other weapon, a Nintendo Wii, and threw it right at Zasalamel. He smirked and dodged the gaming console. "Oh no you didn't! Time for you to see the power of NINTENDO!!" The Nintendo Wii landed on the ground and started to transform before everyone's eyes. After 7 minutes, it was a giant robot, complete with the Wii symbol on the middle of its chest. Piloting it was Nightmare, Maxi, Lizardman, and Kilik. "LET HIM HAVE IT!!!" Nightmare yelled as he pushed a big red button that was entitled: 'Please press this button if you are fighting against a guy who is immortal but wants to die and dressed like Agent Smith.' Maxi, Lizardman, and Kilik all pressed their buttons too. A whirring noise filled the sound before a small door opened between the robot's head and a tiny pathetic ball of again feebly floated out. "WOOT, YEAH! GO GET HIM!" Nightmare yelled. The rest of the guys were yelling and cheering inside the robot. Outside, Raphael and Zasalamel watched the little ball cough and sputter as it tried to get them. They didn't say anything, especially when it plop onto the ground and fizzled out. No one said anything for a while until…

BOOM!

A huge explosion exploded out of nowhere. Raphael and Zasalamel screamed as the force of the energy took them off their feet. They both landed flat on their face and charred black. "Owwwww," Raphael moaned as he struggled to get up. "How come I wasn't allowed into the robot?" There was a mini flashback of Nightmare and his gang running up to the robot and getting inside. Raphael wasn't allowed to go in because outside of the robot was a sign that had the French flag with a big red 'X' across it. "Ugh, I knew Soul Calibur 4 should've been released on the Nintendo Wii," Zasalamel muttered into the ground. Nightmare jumped from the robot and landed on the ground. He smirked as he stared at his two adversaries. "How you like them apples?"

"This… this is madness!" Zasalamel sputtered. Time froze. Everything stopped including things that never stop like cockroaches and stuff like that. "Madness?" Nightmare asked solemnly before turning to Maxi, who nodded. "THIS. IS. SPAAARRRTTTTTAAAAA!" Nightmare yells and kicks Zasalamel down a pit that randomly appeared out of nowhere. Lizardman watched as Zasalamel's screams were getting fainter and fainter and the scowled. "HEEEEY, I'M FROM SPARTA. I SHOULD'VE SAID THAT LINE. NOT YOU!" Lizardman then started to chase Nightmare down the road.

**…………………**

"So, Nightmare threw you up into the air and you landed on a tree, eh?" Xianghua asked Tira, who she successfully managed to get down from the tree. "Yeah, just because I told him to stop watching Desperate Housewives and to stop acting so childish."

"He does act childish."

"Totally. Anyways, what did Nightmare do to you?"

"Took my comrades from me and threw a Playstation 3 at me. It could've been a Nintendo Wii or at least an Xbox 360."

"He took your comrades? I'm guessing they're Maxi and Kilik right?"

"Yeah and I bet that Nightmare doesn't even know that Kilik has the Holy Stone."

"I think he is that oblivious that he wouldn't recognize it. Saaay…," Tira smirked. "Since we have both been wronged by Nightmare… how about we get ourselves a little payback?"

Xianghua was about to turn down the offer when a picture of a Playstation 3 disguised as a Nintendo Wii flashed through her mind. "Let's do this."

**…………………**

"ACHOO!" Raphael sneezed and as usual the rest of the gang ignored him. Raphael looked around and started to sniffed. "Why doesn't anyone like me?" He sighed gloomily and as usual the rest of the gang ignored him. Raphael sneezed again and everyone ignored him. "HEEELLLLOOO? I'M SNEEZING. I'M PROBABLY ALLERGIC TO SOMETHING SOMEONE IS WEARING!" Raphael yelled and as usual the rest of the gang ignored him. "Look at that!" Nightmare cried and as usual the rest of gang paid instant attention to him except Raphael, who was muttering something that sounded like a thousand of curses directed at Nightmare. "Wooow, is that a ship?" Lizardman asked and his head was suddenly filled of images of him being a swashbuckling pirate and wearing a pirate hat and drinking pirate's rum and eating other pirates. He sighed dreamily and grinned widely. "What are we waiting for? There is an adventure waiting for us!" The rest of the gang cheered except Raphael. "Um, the ship is a tiny, tiny, TINY speck. It will take forever for that thing to come. Why don't we just do something else?" His question was meant with silence as the rest of the guys had rain clouds over their heads upon realizing that they're dreams were crushed. "THANKS FOR RUINING THE MOOD, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!" Nightmare yelled and smacked Raphael across his face and as usual the rest of the gang cheered him on.


	4. Nightmare's Family Part 1

Magic of WakaLaka: HI! This is another chapter! I hope you enjoy reading this.

Nightmare: THEY WON'T LIKE THIS. I'M NOT SINGING IN THIS CHAPTER. -he pulls out a scroll- Here is all the songs that I want to sing with Michael Jackson. -he hands them to Magic of WakaLaka-

Magic of WakaLaka: Hey, didn't you already sing this some of these songs? Like Gimme More?

Nightmare: You want more? Okay! -Nightmare hands pile after pile to the author-

Magic of WakaLaka: STOP IT!

* * *

"I'm BOOORREEEDD!" Nightmare sighed loudly. "I want someone to kill… or a game to play." "Well," Lizardman replied. "You shouldn't have made your Nintendo Wii transform. Now he's off fighting with Optimus Prime and Bumble Bee against the Decepticons." Nightmare sighed again and glanced off into the harbor. His gang has been waiting here for over an hour waiting for that ship to dock. "Maaaaan, I hate to admit this but Raphael was right. It's going to take FOR-ever for that ship to land," Maxi said while Kilik nodded. Their whining session was disrupted when the sound of a crowd running filled their ears. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Maxi cried. To answer his question, a bunch of people ran into the dock area, stopped in front of Maxi, and yelled: "IT SEEMS TO BE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE RUNNING, IDIOT." They then proceeded to start screaming and continue to run down the harbor. "Huh? Why were they so rude for?" Maxi scowled and Kilik gasped. "THERE SEEMS TO BE SOMEONE COMING!" Maxi and Kilik took out their weapons with a loud _swooooosh_ and stood in battle pose. Nightmare, Lizardman, and Raphael looked utterly unaffected and flipped through magazines while people ran running and screaming around them. The sky was slowly turning from its bright and cheerful blue to a cold and morbid black. "Who the heck is doing that? Turning the sky dark! I can't read in the dark! It hurts my eyes!" Raphael cried while Lizardman smacked him upside his head. "Be quiet! I can't read if you are talking!" Nightmare took his magazine, rolled it up, and then slapped Raphael and Lizardman repeatly while yelling: "I CAN'T READ WITH YOU TWO COMPLAINING! BE QUIET! I HAVE TO READ VOGUE TO LEARN HOW TO DRESS STYLISHLY!"

"WHAT?!! VOGUE IS A GIRL MAGAZINE!" Raphael and Lizardman yelled while clutching their heads. Nightmare glared at them and then his eyes turn big and sparkly. "It's always been my life-long dream to become a fashionable lad. I've been purchasing stuff from Chanel and other hard-to-pronounce foreign words!" He reached into a pink and glittery paper bag that appeared out of nowhere. "I've been taking them from the rich people that I killed!" Nightmare pulled out a lavender puffy shirt and held it out in front of him while Raphael and Lizardman admired it. Kilik smacked his forehead. "Those morons…," he murmured before someone jumped behind him. In a flash, a long samurai sword was resting its sharp edge against Kilik's neck. "Make one more sound and your blood will adorn my blade." A gruff voice commanded making Kilik shiver his boots. "OH MY GOD! GUYS! I'M GOING TO GET KILL! I DON'T WANT TO DIE BECAUSE IT'S ONLY CHAPTER 4!!" Kilik screamed and in an instant Maxi smacked the guy behind his friend. The man recovered from the blow and readied his weapon in front of him. "Name's Mitsurugi and don't forget it." The man grinned evilly. Maxi and Kilik stood side by side as they prepared for an attack. Of course, if this was a serious fanfic then this will be the part of a lot of blood and gore and nice stuff like that. But this is Nightmare is made of Win and Nightmare isn't serious and he faints at the sight of blood. "Whut? What's your name, again?" Nightmare asked politely causing Mitsurugi to glance arrogantly at him.

"Name's Mitsurugi and don't forget it."

"Whut?"

"Name's Mitsurugi and don't forget it."

"Whut?"

"Name's Mitsurugi and don't forget it."

"Whut?"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAARRH!" Mitsurugi yelled as he stomped his feet on the ground.

"MY GODDAMN NAME IS MITSURUGI AND YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT FORGET IT."

"Ahhhh," Nightmare said knowingly. "I can only remember someone's name if they use a profanity when they are introducing yourself. By the way, is it you that's turning the sky black?"

"Maybe."

"BECAUSE I CAN'T READ IN THE DARK! TIME FOR YOU TO DIE!" Nightmare grabbed the Soul Edge and started running towards Mitsurugi, who grinned widely and aim his sword low. "Heey, he didn't just take my line." Raphael pouted. "I come up with great one-liners and he always takes them for himself. I mean I'm French! If I come up with one-liners I should be the only one able to use the-"

"Quiet!" Lizardman hissed at Raphael who scowled at him. "I'm trying to watch this fight."

"Shouldn't we be fighting against Maxi and Kilik?"

"Why?"

"Because… um… they're good and we're bad."

"We? You aren't bad. You're just crazy. I was actually partnered up with Nightmare before."

"I am bad! I want to enslave the entire world under the dark power of the Soul Edge."

"That's what I mean. You're craz-" Lizardman stopped talking when he looked up and saw Nightmare staring at with his arms crossed. Raphael looked up and warily at Nightmare, too. "What were you two doing?" Nightmare asked sweetly. "Errrr," Lizardman looked at Raphael and nudged him frantically while Raphael shook his head quickly. "Oh, god, look what you made me do." Lizardman whispered to Raphael who growled. "Made you do what?"

"Talk while Nightmare is fighting!"

"AND TALKING TO RAPHAEL WHILE I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!" Nightmare screamed and smacked Lizardman and Raphael in their faces with his ultra-mega deformed hand claw thingy. Lizardman and Raphael flew through the air screaming and landed into the ocean. Mitsurugi did a double take. What kind of creature attacks his own teammates? "Boooyaaaah!" Nightmare cried happily and zoomed towards Mitsurugi. When he was close enough, he slashed his sword at Mitsurugi, who dodged it effortlessly. The sword fighting continued for a few more minutes while Kilik and Maxi watched on with excited looks on their faces. "This is better then sex!" Kilik cried while Maxi turned slowly to stare, wide-eyed, at his friend. "You had sex before?"

"What? No, it's just an expression."

"Okay, but just watch what you say because the rating of this fanfic would go up; we already have profanity and cross-dressing."

"It's time for me to take your soul, Mitsurugi!" Nightmare said and jumped high into the air. Mitsurugi knelt low with his sword out, ready for the final blow and waited…

And waited…

And waited…

And waited…

"Hey… where the hell is he?" Mitsurugi yelled out angrily, looking around and not seeing the crazy azure knight anywhere. "Whaaaaaaaaat?" Kilik cried. "Where is Nightmare? He just disappeared!" "WHAT THE HELL? IS THAT HIM?!?!" Maxi yelled as he pointed towards a figure that was far away and running quickly towards them. "How is that him?" Mitsurugi snarled. "He was right in front of me a few seconds ago; how can he be all the way in the distance? I want to kill him! Why is he acting so weird?" "Believe me, we've seen Nightmare transform an Nintendo Wii and made a Mudkip do hyperbeam. He acts like this all the time." Kilik sighed. Maxi squinted into the distance to look at the figure again until he saw that the first was taller then Nightmare and was wearing green armor. "Huh? Who wears green armor in this game?"

"Link?"

"Raphael?"

"Yoshi?"

The figure jumped up and disappeared from view to appear a few seconds later with a huge gun in his hand. He landed and started to randomly shoot at the citizens who screamed and scurried around looking for some cover. The figure stopped shooting and reloaded quickly, turning on the built-in radar system in his yellow visor. "… … … where am I?" Kilik, Maxi, and Mitsurugi stared blankly at the man in green armor. He turned around and stared at them back. "My name is Master Chief and I'm here to cleanse the world of The Alien." This granted no response from the three, who continued to stare at him. "MAASSSTTEERRR CHIIIEEEEEFFF!" Nightmare's voice filled the whole area while he came zooming back down to Earth riding on a huge yellow star.

"ARGHWHATTHEFUCK!" Mitsurugi screamed as Nightmare crashed right into him. Nightmare jumped up from the wreckage and ran towards Master Chief with his arms outstretched. "MASTER CHIEF! BROTHER!" Master Chief looked blankly at Nightmare while he hugged him wildly. "Er, Brother…,"

"WHAT? MASTER CHIEF AND NIGHTMARE IS RELATED?" Kilik screamed while Maxi stared at the siblings. "They kinda look the same, y'know."

Kilik stopped screaming and glared at Maxi. "Shut up, Maxi."

"Brother, I need your help to fight against um… I forgot his name." Nightmare told Master Chief in a serious tone.

"MITSURUGI." Mitsurugi growled angrily. "How many times do I have to repeat my name? And why does Master Chief has two names as a first name or is that his first and last name? Who goes by their first and last name all the time?" Master Chief turned slowly towards Mitsurugi, who gulped loudly. "I do, punk." Master Chief readied his huge gun with Nightmare next to him with his Soul Edge out. "Heeey, two against one isn't fair!" Mitsurugi whined. "And the green guy isn't even in this game!"

**…………………**

"Look who we got!" A boy yelled. "Is he still alive?" Raphael blinked his eyes and sat up, wincing. The last thing he remembered was Nightmare punching his lights out and landing into the ocean. He looked around and saw that he was in some sort of nicely adorned room, with silk curtains of the finest color. "Ugh, where am I?" Raphael grumbled while the child's eyes lit up. "Hey! You have an accent! Are you from Britain? Spain? France?" "I'm French!" Raphael snarled causing the young lad to back away in fear. "Ummm, MISTRESS!" The boy cried and ran out of the room.

Raphael looked down and noticed that he wasn't wearing his Costume 1 outfit anymore. He was wearing a pale silk shirt with lavender pants. "COOL! Can't wait to show Nightmare my new outfit… who's the stylish one now?" Raphael snickered in delight. His thoughts of achievement were interrupted when a plump lady burst through the door. "Well, you're awake!" The woman cried, her bright blue eyes looking at Raphael eagerly. "You'll attract a lot of customers. I have a lot of work for you to do." "WORK? I DON'T WORK!" Raphael said pompously while the lady laughed out loud. "I think you mean like cleaning and cooking… oh no, no, no! I have a specific work for you to do! You see a run a brothel! And I needed a new male attraction and then here you just wash up on the shore! Perfect timing too, because there are some important gentlemen coming here that would need some _entertainment_! I'll go prepare the plans!" The lady laughed happily again and bustled out of the door leaving Raphael to stare after her. It took a few minutes for his situation to sink in and when it did…

"GET ME OUT OF HERE! SOMEONE SSAAAAVVVEEE ME! AAAAHHHHHH!" Raphael screamed while banging on the closed door.

**…………………**

Cervantes stared at the sheet of paper in front of him. He's been staring at this sheet of paper for 20 minutes now. "Maaan, you've been staring at this sheet of paper for 20 minutes now," Lizardman sighed. "Just make your move. It's just Tic-Tac-Toe." Cervantes looked up at Lizardman and back at the paper while he tapped his pencil against his chin. "THERE'S ONLY TWO SPACES LEFT!" Lizardman yelled while Cervantes continued to stare at the paper. "Forget this; I'm taking a coffee break." And with that, Lizardman walked out of the cabin.

* * *

Does Nightmare have selective short-term memory?

Will Master Chief ever go to his family reunion?

What will become of Raphael?

Will Cervantes finally finish his Tic-Tac-Toe game?

Does Lizardman like cream and sugar in his coffee?

And wasn't Xianghua and Tira in this chapter?

Find out next time!


	5. Nightmare's Family Part 2

Magic of WakaLaka: Hi! What a quick update!

Nightmare: Not quick enough. I want you to upload this story... one chapter per 5 seconds... NOOOWW.

Magic of WakaLaka: -whimpers- RAPHAEL!! SAVE ME!

Lizardman: Hi

Ivy: I swear to god that I better be in this chapter or, so help me, I will the kill the nearest person to me.

Rock: -nearest person to Ivy- ... -puppy eyes-

Astaroth: Can I be in here, pleeeaaassseee?

Voldo: YEAH! ME TOO! And I want to talk normally like Lizardman!

* * *

The moon soft and smooth light shined throughout the forest floor; illuminating it so much that it was like diamonds. The crickets gently murmured sweet lullabies around three figures who were discussing something. 

"Sooo, if I help you… I can go kill Mitsurugi?" A ninja, inquired. She was wearing a blue skin-tight one piece, with a metal mask over her mouth and nose. Her hair was tied up into a long ponytail of black hair and her piercing eyes glared at the two women in front of her. "Is that the deal?"

Xianghua nodded. "Yes, we think that Mitsurugi may have gone to fight Nightmare. If Nightmare didn't kill him already then you can finish him off." Tira snorted. "Of course Nightmare wouldn't kill him. He can't kill any main characters." The ninja and Xianghua snapped their heads to stare at Tira in shock. "Wha- what? I thought Nightmare could kill anyone!" Xianghua exclaimed. Tira shook her head sadly. "According to his contract, he can only kill minor or "no name" characters meaning he could kill some random dude on the street or Harry Potter but he can't kill Mitsurugi or Zasalamel or whoever." "Huh? Is that the same for us?" The ninja scowled. How the heck was she going to kill Mitsurugi if she couldn't kill him? "Does accidental death count?" "We would be sued by divine beings called Lawyers. Their powers are so great that I don't even think Nightmare could go against them." Tira sighed earning another scowl from the woman. "This sucks… well, we might as well try. I'm sure I can find a loophole somewhere so that I can kill Mitsurugi once and for all!" She turned and stalked away. "Hey, wait! We never got your name!" Xianghua cried out but the ninja ignored her and disappeared into the night. "I hate it when people ignore me… well, is that the only other girl character in this game?" She asked Tira who shrugged her shoulders. "The only girl that is close to here is some chick called Talim. Do you know who the fuck she is?" Xianghua shook her head and Tira pointed south from where they were standing. "Her village should be down here. I'm sure she will be a powerful ally against our fight with Nightmare!"

**…………………**

"I wonder why we're here anyway," Maxi asked Kilik, who was eating an ice cream sundae. "What? Why we are in a hotel? You know Nightmare can't fight at night." Kilik was sitting on the floor with Maxi. Mitsurugi was a few feet away, eating some fortune cookies on a dark blue beanbag chair. The door of the room quietly slid open as the three individuals raised their eyes up. Room service was here.

"Do you want some more hot chocolate?" Nightmare, who was dressed like a french maid, offered Mitsurugi a cup of hot cocoa on a tray. Mitsurugi sneered and snatched the mug off the platter and drank it down in one gulp. "That's some fine hot chocolate." Nightmare giggled like a schoolgirl. "My master, Master Chief, makes the best hot chocolate." He then skipped over to Kilik and Maxi who was staring at Nightmare with disbelief on their faces. "Do you boys want some more hot chocolate?" Kilik's mouth gaped open but no sound came out. Maxi shrugged and grabbed a mug off the tray and drank a sip of it. "Do you like it?" Nightmare politely inquired. Maxi sat with eyes close and his head nodding for a few moments until…

"ARGGUUUHHH, WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THIS SHIT?!?!?!" Maxi screamed and started to cough and sputter all over Kilik, who was frantically trying to protect himself and his sundae from Maxi's flying spit. Nightmare sneered. "IT'S PRUNE JUICE! AND I'M NOT A FRENCH MAID!" Nightmare pulled the outfit off and threw it up into the air. When the clothing fell on the ground, Kilik and Maxi gasped in terror at Nightmare. "I'm JAMES BOND!" Nightmare announced and he was dressed like the dashing British super spy. Mitsurugi yawned widely, pulled out an dark orange DS, and turned it on. "007, WE HAVE AN URGENT MISSION FOR YOU!" A huge screen appeared behind of Maxi and Kilik. Master Chief was sitting in a beautiful but professional office. He was stroking a white kitten, which was mewing softly. "You, the best super spy agent around, have a very important mission! You must…" Master Chief paused abruptly and angled his head as he was listening to something outside. "You must buy me… some… SKITTLES!!" Nightmare gasped and was obviously startled. Maxi and Kilik looked at Nightmare with their eyebrows raised. "Skit-skit-skit-skit-skit-skit-," Nightmare stuttered while he was shaking his patent leather shoes. "SKITTLES!! YES 007, I NEED A PACK OF SKITTLES!" Master Chief yelled.

Nightmare cried out in fright, curled up into a ball, and started to sob. Kilik stared wide-eyed at the azure knight, who was now whispering about his happy place. "007! YOU MUST TASTE THE RAINB-" Master Chief started but he was interrupted by a very important-looking individual who walked into the office. "What the… who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing in my off- HOMG! IS THAT MR. WHISKERS?" The man screamed and started to run around in circles. "HEEELLLLPPP!! THERE'S A WEIRD GREEN GUY HOLDING MY KITTEN!" In an instant, a whole bunch of the SWAT team jumped in through the window, ran out of the doors, and appeared out of the candy bowl, in a few seconds Master Chief was completely surrounded. "PUT DOWN THE CAT AND NO ONE GETS HURT!" One SWAT man yelled harshly while Master Chief sneered but you can't really see it because he's wearing a helmet. "007, I'm finishing the fight!" Master Chief pulled out a huge bazooka and aimed it at the group of people. "MASTER CHIIEEEFF!" Nightmare screamed as the connection was cut off. Nightmare sobbed loudly and banged his fists on the ground. "BRROOOOTTTTHHHEEERRR!"

Kilik sighed loudly and, like that light bulb that randomly appeared on his head, realized something. "Where are Raphael and Lizardman?" Maxi shrugged his shoulders. "I thought they were here the whole time… but now that you mention it… I haven't heard them in the longest time…" "PAY ATTENTION TO MEEE!" Nightmare declared and smacked Kilik and Maxi with his Soul Edge. "STOP WORRYING ABOUT RAPHAEL AND LIZARDM-… HEY WHERE ARE THEY ANYWAY?" Nightmare started to cry loudly again. Mitsurugi stomped over to Nightmare and smacked him with the back of his hand. "You idiot! You hit them over the bridge of the dock when we were fighting!" Nightmare, with his eyes big and tears running down his face, looked up at Mitsurugi sadly. "What?"

"YOU HIT THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE TALKING WHILE WE WERE FIGHTING!"

"What?"

"THEY FELL IN THE WATER AND FLOATED AWAY!"

"What?"

"ERRRRRRARGGGUHRASNAGRUMSNAGRA!" Mitsurugi screamed angrily and huffed over to his beanbag and sat down roughly on it. Nightmare started to sob again but stopped when he heard something.

"Kip."

"WHAT? DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT?" Nightmare sat up right away and listened around the room.

"Kip."

"What kind of creature says 'Kip'?" Mitsurugi snarled while Nightmare eyed him. "So you can hear it too!"

"Kip."

"It's annoying!" Kilik griped while he poked Maxi on his shoulder. "Make it stop!"

"Mudkip."

"MUUDDDDKKKIIIPPP!" Nightmare yelled suddenly, causing everyone in the vicinity to jump a few feet in the air. "MUDKIP, WHERE ARE YOU?!?"

"Mudkip." The response was and then silence. Nightmare looked around and then started to sniffle. "WHERE'S MY MUDKIP?"

"Mudkip!" Mudkip cried happily while he crawled out from Mitsurugi's ponytail. Everyone stared at Mitsurugi with their eyes as big as dinner plates, including Nightmare. "Um, what the hell?" Nightmare asked, who was acting not OCC for once. Mitsurugi didn't seem to notice anything as he continued to play from his game as Mudkip jumped off his shoulder and down on the floor. "Mudkip!" It said and ran up to Nightmare and snuggled his leg. "MUDKIP! HOW I MISSED YOU!" Nightmare cried happily as he grabbed Mudkip into a big happy hug. "Hey, wasn't that thing in Chapter 1?" Maxi asked. "No, it was Chapter 2. How can you not know that and you're in this fanfic?" Mitsurugi asked while Maxi shrugged. "I didn't ask to be in this." "Mudkip, do you know where Raphael and Lizardman is?" Nightmare asked his favorite pokemon. Mudkip nodded and then opened his mouth:

"It seems that the two individuals that you are inquiring about are currently located in two different locations. The one who you call Raphael is placed at an facility entitled: 'No Money No Funny Bunny Honey.' The one who you call Lizardman is placed in front of a coffee machine, extremely angry that it short-fused and won't give him any coffee."

"Excellen- LOL, WAIT. RAPHAEL IS AT A BROTHEL?!?! LOLOLOLOL!!" Nightmare gave a loud whoop of laughter and proceeded to roll around the floor laughing. "Raphael? I can't imagine him… with… y'know…," Kilik whispered while Mitsurugi stood up. "What we waiting for? We have to save our comrades!" Maxi raised his eyebrows. "'Our comrades'? You aren't on our team Mitsurugi." Mitsurugi shrugged. "I've been around you guys for at least half an hour without fighting you. I guess that makes us a team." "Right-o, sir! It's time for us to rescue Raphael and Lizardman!" Nightmare slapped Mitsurugi on his back and skipped out of the room. The rest of team went after him, grumbling about leaving their nice suite. "Hey wait! You haven't paid the fee yet!" A tiny little man cried out as he pulled on Mitsurugi's pants leg causing the rouge samurai to sigh and slice the unfortunate man's head clean off

**…………………**

A young girl was standing outside a brothel; her blue eyes were on the constant alert. "Hai guurll, you waiting outside? We can get a room inside." A poor excuse of a male, slid slyly up to the girl. "You look pretty young, I like 'em youn-," The man didn't finish his sentence when he was impaled by a long rapier. The girl, who killed the man, pulled the sword out and glared at the body. "Stupid humans," she muttered and turned to look at a pink puffball that scurried up next to her. "C'mon Kirby, let's go save my dad." Kirby nodded, which was a neat trick since he doesn't have a neck. "Right, Amy!"


	6. Raphael's Rescue Part 1

Magic of WakaLaka: Hi! This is another chapter!

Nightmare: Obviously.

Magic of WakaLaka: -glares and coughs- Anyways, we want to try something new this time! We're going to respond to some reviews!

Nightmare: Aren't we supposed to be doing that already?

Magic of WakaLaka: -glares and then takes deep breaths- Moving on,** Neyla-Chan** was wondering why everyone is so mean to Raphael! So we're going to ask them:

Nightmare: Why am I mean to Raphael? BECAUSE HE'S THERE. I DON'T NEED A REASON!! BUWAHAHAHAHA! Annnd, he's French but he's acts English and Spanish. CURSE HIM; JUST PICK A STUPID EUROPEAN COUNTRY INSTEAD OF BEING THREE.

Lizardman: Raphael? Oh. He's funny when you get him angry. And he's French.

Kilik: Raphael? I try not to be mean to him but if I do it's because he's French.

Maxi: He's a better dancer than me and he's French.

Cervantes: Never met him and he's French.

Raphael: WHAT? WHAT'S WITH EVERYONE HATING FRENCH PEOPLE!?!?!

Kilik: We don't hate French people, we just hate you being French.

Raphael: -confused- …what?

* * *

Amy and Kirby approached the door, which was barred shut. "Let me handle this," Amy said while she slashed at the door with her rapier. The door fell to pieces as she and Kirby walked through. The lobby was empty, which wasn't a good sign. "Where could everyone be?" Kirby asked as Amy shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know but if anything happens to my father…," She slid her left pointer finger across her throat and Kirby gulped. They walked around the large room until they were in front of a door, which was already open. They were at the entrance of a hallway with numerous of door lining it. Various muffled voices were coming from the rooms. "Tsk, I can't hear him," Amy grimaced. "Uh oh, someone is coming!" Kirby cried and pushed Amy into a room. They landed inside the room, which was thankfully a broom closet. "That was great!" A man's voice rang out. "We have to come here again." "That new attraction was the best," His friend agreed. Amy's face was turning redder and redder by the second as Kirby coughed. At soon as the men was out of the hallway, Amy burst through the closet and stood facing their retreating backs, rapier out and ready. "YAAAAAAH!" Amy yelled as she jumped on the men. "Amy! AMY! We have to save Lord Sorel!" Kirby cried as he struggled to pull Amy off the men, who were already dead from fright. "We have to save him!" He successfully managed to pull the young mistress off the corpses and drag her down the hall.

"Now, now, now, you have to wear this, Bunny!" A woman's voice now filled the hallway. "What? Where is that coming from?" Amy asked, Kirby pointed to an ajar door. "There! Maybe Lord Sorel is in there!" Amy ran towards the door with her weapon swinging above her head. Right when she was about to yell her battle cry, Kirby muffled it by putting his little stubs of arms over her mouth. "Shhhh!" He whispered as nodded towards to door. "NO! I'M NOT WEARING THAT! THAT'S A BUNNY COSTUME! THAT'S DISGUSTING! GET. ME. OUT. OF HERE."

"That IS Lord Sorel!" Kirby's eyes lit up while Amy's turned red with anger. "YAAAAAAH! MY DADDY! I'M COMING TO SAVE YOOOOOU!" She threw Kirby off herself as she ran at the door, kicked it down, pulled out an AK-47, loaded it, and started to shoot everywhere. "YAAAAAAH!" Amy screamed as she shot at furniture, flower vases, people, and the innocent carpet. "AMY! CAREFUL! You could hurt Lord Sorel!" Kirby cried out and pulled anxiously on Amy's dress. "…He's not here! We've been tricked!" Amy snarled as the doors and windows slide shut. "Ah! We're trapped!" Kirby cried as he tried to yank one of the windows open but to no avail. "Hehehe," A metallic voice whispered in Amy's ear. She whipped around and started shooting and ended up hitting an empty wall. "What the hell is going on?!?!" Amy yelled. "Hello… _Amy_; that is your name isn't it?" "WHO ARE YOU?" Amy screamed. "AAAAMMMMMMYYYYYYY!! KIIIIRBBBBY! SAVE MEEEE!" Raphael's voice filled the room. "DADDY! Kirby we have to do someth-," Amy gasped as yellow gas filled the room through vents. "Today is the day you die," the robotic voice whispered.

**…………………**

Mitsurugi looked towards the sky, the birds were flying a straight line. "Hmm, north… we must be heading the right way…" Mitsurugi walked forward and then looked down at his feet. "What the…? How did the road turn into yellow bricks?" "WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ! DAH DUH DAH DUH DAH DAH DAH!" Mitsurugi was pushed right off the road as Nightmare, Maxi, and Kilik skipped down the yellow brick road, singing at the top of their lungs. "Dorothy? Where is the wizard?" Maxi was suddenly dressed as a scarecrow. "I'M SCARED DOROTHY!" Kilik whimpered, dressed now as a lion. "Have no fear! Dorothy is here! We'll be able to go home once we find the wizard!" Nightmare, who was dressed as Dorothy, yelled. "Mudkip!" Mudkip agreed, now dressed as Toto. "WHAT THE HELL?!?!" Mitsurugi yelled and then he was dressed like the Tin Man. "I'M NOT WEARING THIS RIDICULOUS OUTFIT!"

"HOW CAN WE GET TO THE WIZARD IF WE AREN'T DRESSED UP?" Nightmare kicked Mitsurugi much like you would kick a soccer ball and sent him flying in the air.

"Look! The Tin Man is flying towards the direction of the wizard!" Kilik exclaimed. "Let's follow him!" Maxi agreed. "But we can't! Look how fast he's going and it takes us long to walk." He then said, looking sad. "No problem," Nightmare said as he pointed towards a yellow Lamborghini Diablo that was there. "Okkkay, but we don't have the car keys," Kilik sighed while Nightmare cleared his throat importantly. "I do!" Nightmare waved the keys in front of their faces before he ran to the car, opened the driver's door, and jumped in. "Wait for us!!" Maxi and Kilik said at the same time as they scrambled to get into the car.

**…………………**

"…Need… air…," Amy whispered as she struggled to open the window. The room was filled with a noxious fume and Amy couldn't hold on much longer. Kirby was flat on the ground, not moving. "I'll kill everyone," Amy muttered as she felt herself slipping away. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Mitsurugi screamed as he flew threw the window and onto Amy. "WOOO HOOOOO! WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, RAPHAEL!" Nightmare yelled as he drove through the window of the brothel. The car landed on top of the bodies of the people that Amy killed. "Yeah! That was awesome!" Kilik said happily as he pumped his fist into the air. Mitsurugi cursed silently to himself when he realized he was laying on something. He gasped and back quickly away when he saw he was laying on a twelve year old girl. Her eyes were closed but she was gently breathing. "Oh no, if anyone sees me they'd think I'm a pedophile." He looked over his shoulder and started to sweat feverously.

Unfortunately for him, Nightmare sitting right next to him with a camera, snapping photos. "HA HA!" Nightmare sneered as he jumped away. "GET BACK HERE YOU MONSTER!" Mitsurugi yelled as he got up to chase him. "Where is Raphael?" Maxi asked, looking around at the massacre. "Huuuh…? Is that him in the other room?" He exclaimed at ran out of the room. "Hey, buddy! Wake up!" Kilik poked Kirby's body before he started to stir. "Ugggh, the smell of rotten eggs in the morning is disgusting," Kirby shuddered and turned to look at Kilik. "Hi." "OH MY GOD! KIRBY! I HAVE YOUR GAMES ON MY NINTENDO DS!" "OH MY GOD! KILIK! I HAVE YOUR GAMES ON MY PLAYSTATION 2!" Kirby and Kilik then started to chat happily.

"Where am I?" Maxi walked into an empty room, which was covered with dark blue metal panels. He whipped around as the door slammed shut behind him. "Oh my, we seem to have another handsome male. He will bring excellent profits." The same metallic voice slithered through the room. Maxi shuddered but then glared. "Show yourself! Where is Raphael?" "Raphael? Here he is." The ceiling started to open slowly causing Maxi to back away and gasp. Sitting tied to a chair was Raphael, wearing a gag and a very pink, very tight, and very gay bunny outfit. "Mrf! Mrrrf!" Raphael struggled to get free but it was no use. Standing behind him was a plump old lady and…

"ASTAROTH!" Maxi hissed angrily.


End file.
